Beyoncé‘s new album LEMONADE is still the talk of the pop culture world, and it’s driven an unprecedented dragging of Jay Z on social media. Considering his near-impeachable position in hip-hop, it’s been quite the sight to see fans of his wife going in on him online. Today, however, things really got taken to another level when one fan released this bonkers fanfic about the state of their relationship.
Simply titled the lemons, the fanfic drags Jay in spectacular fashion, casting him as firmly under the heel of an extremely enraged Beyoncé. She invites a squad of famous women over for dinner, including Ava Duvernay, Taraji P. Henson, Solange, and her mother Tina, all of whom take turns grinding Hov into the dirt. Solange literally calls him “Blubberlips McSlutdick,” while Tina tells him “you are pathetic. The universe wasted good water creating you.” Eventually J. Cole arrives, and is also promptly dismembered by Bey’s squad, who refer to him as “the rapper. The one that looks like he’s from a mural of dead Puerto Rican boys.” Things only get more absurd from there, and the whole fanfic ends up being one hilarious commentary on Jay, Bey, LEMONADE, and the couple’s outsized celebrity persona.
The internet can be a strange place, but every once in a while it produces something so ridiculous and entertaining you just can’t look away. The lemons definitely fits into that category, and we’re all the better for it. You can check out the whole thing here.