One man’s journey from a typically transcendent Coachella experience to a properly VIP-laced throwdown was as simple as, well, stumbling upon a total stranger‘s abandoned phone. Jack Wagner came across the clearly misplaced phone of one Troian Bellisario, a.k.a. Spencer Hastings on Pretty Little Liars, and promptly attempted to text some of her contacts to get the phone back to her. That simple act of kindness, as reported by Bro Bible, didn’t exactly go as planned. Wagner then turned to Bellisario’s Instagram, scrounging for answers:
Sadly, this initial post suffers from a distinct lack of Disturbed. The band, perhaps most known for sounding remarkably similar to a garbage truck running over six completely out-of-tune bass guitars while simultaneously submerged in a planet-sized pool of Easy Cheese, thankfully made an appearance in Wagner’s next post:
why isnt DISTURBED playing at coachella? My uncle tony told me they were headlining and i believed him until now. Apparently he lied to me! Every band at coachella is a joke compared to disturbed. Im extremely upset about this #coachella2016 guys never trust ur uncles especially if their name is tony
He framed her as a Disturbed fan! Damn. This move, of course, quickly alerted more studious ‘grammers to the fact that this wasn’t Bellisario at all. Bellisario then addressed the confusion, revealing she had actually made contact with Wagner and was working on a solution:
Guys. I am so so sorry. I just got a hold of the person who has my phone. (My new phone because apparently my old one was hacked) and I am rushing to get it. Thank you for all the concern and alerts. This will teach me not to unpack my car before a hike when I'm daydreaming like an idiot. Also thank you @docdanger for loaning me your phone. I changed all my Pw but I apologize for the previous posts and if they weirded anyone out. Xx.
After getting the clear form Bellisario that using her untouchable VIP status (also unknowingly left behind with her abandoned phone) was cool, Wagner embarked on what was clearly a better Coachella experience than the one generally given to mere mortals. Snapchatting with Zedd? Check. Out until 6 a.m. with a Mr. Skrillex? Check.
As all good things must indeed come to their inevitable conclusion, Wagner eventually met up with Bellisario at her Game of Thrones viewing party and returned the magical device:
A round of applause for this guy, everyone.