Stephen Colbert poked fun at Ticketmaster Thursday night after the company released their list of not-so-appetizing free concerts, the result of a long-standing, just-settled class action lawsuit.
“Ticketmaster is settling a class action lawsuit for overcharging customers, and as part of the settlement, they’re giving out $5 million dollars in free concert tickets. Obviously, minus a $3.5 million dollar processing fee,” Colbert said.
Like everyone else who logged into their Ticketmaster account to find free ticket vouchers waiting for them, that excitement soon turned into disappointment for Colbert when he saw the actual list of concerts Ticketmaster was offering.
“Ticketmaster just unveiled the list of available concerts and it’s a Who’s Who of ‘Definitely not the Who,'” Colbert said. “Some of the concerts they’re offering in New York City are a Black Sabbath cover band, a Rolling Stones cover band and a Guns N’ Roses cover band. What gives Ticketmaster? If I wanted to see a lame Guns N’ Roses cover band, I’d go and see Guns N’ Roses.”
Colbert then listed a bunch of events that Ticketmaster is probably offering tickets to see like Usher (an actual usher, not the singer), “Weird Al” Yankovic cover artist “Absurd Phil” Moscowitz and Greg’s Dad’s Band,” said Colbert, “And of course, Smash Mouth.”